DoucheBag Awards - Spring 2012.

Whats UP Suckas???

So look here.....I've been busy, REAL busy man! Hanging around up in Nowra over winter and back in my spiritual homeland, the Wimmera, for Autumn. Heaps of shit has been going down and even more getting sprayed about the Internerds. For that reason I'm gonna keep this as short as a blockhead like me can. 

Last week I got my computer privilleges back after 3 months good behaviour. Apparantly it's a bad idea to yell (IN CAPITALS) at some random on FB about how retarded she sounded when posting photos of her ugly, shit expeling infant with rambling captions on how big her poos are. Anyway, in the past few days I've been able to award some points to a few likely contenders for the least coverted award in Oz Rock Huggin'. Without further Ado here are the results for the 2012 Spring Douchebag Award.


Runners-up in no particular order cause you are all as useless as Rove McFannus.

• Gay Dave Carson. Never fails to dissappoint the mases. Dave won the inaugural Golden Douche a couple of years ago, when his little calf failed due to too many kneebars on Monkey Puzzle. Dave has been down in Victoria of late and has again put his hand up for the award. No I mean he literally put his hand up and nominated himself and was heard to say,  "...when I won the Douchebag award all those moons ago, I felt alive. I mean, it meant a lot to me to know that even though I fell out of a kneebar, I could still take home the prize. I stilll use the Golden Douche as part of my daily routine". Well Dave you get a nod. You put in a valiant effort this season and even though you didn't know who Patrick Edlinger is/was (R.I.P.) you didn't quite make it this time.

• The Myth.....the ever trying.....the ever could be....My Boy........Grosey. Have you seen this guy climb? It's like a giraffe was somehow taught by Bindi Irwin to do pullups. He is a Spaz - pretty much campuses 100% of the moves he can do on 90% of most routes. Your maths good? Mine ain't. In otherwords he falls off the top of things. While this in it so ain't so worthy of the Golden Douche, he does make a habit of injuring himself while walking. This Spring saw Grosey combine both his favourite past times resulting in a 4m fall while walking along a boulder he was brushing. 3 busted ribs and 5 weeks off doing pullups. Now he can only campus 32% of 20 routes in the entire Wimmera, slabs included. What A Douche!

Grosey on the Campus Board

• Last but not least..........ahhhh actually they are the only Runners-up, no one else really comes close.

So Now the moment your kids will roll their eyes at. That is if you are ever allowed to have kids and by the time they're old enough to know what a douchebag is, actually care enough about you to listen to your shitty anecdotes. The Main Prize!!

The 2012 Spring Douchebag Award goes to

JIMMY K - the Re-Inventor of the Wheel.

Recently James, also known as the inventer of undergarmets specifically designed for the climbing gym, reinvented the wheel. The Wheel of Life that is. Jimmy K had ticked off this puppy last year, however not to be outdone by the send train of "travelling tourists" (what the hell are they? do non travelling tourists exist? Are interstate visitors included as tourists? I think this needs clarification) he was able to add a slightly varied finish. Top effort to have done two laps of the wheel within such a short period. However 2 things stemming from this allowed Jimmy K to grasp the Douche and take home the Glory.

1. Jimmy's blog on the Re-Invention.  http://www.jameskassay.com/blog/archives/196

• Already mentioned above the notion of the 'travelling tourist'. James understands that they are short of time and probably wants to do as much other climbing in the Grampians, Araps, Gluies as possible. If that's the case, then by all means just exit the cave by the original V4 finish and then get on with your trip. If you're local and can dedicate another day or two then go for the V5 exit - and give yourself another grade or two. Make it a nice round figure, hmm 9A or something. Oh and if you're a tourist - you can use the knee bar rests that other tourists use. But remember if you want the full tick, you cannot use any holds or sequences not used by the reinventionalist during the send.

2. 12 months of No Development.

• No thats not true. The Grampians has been full of development. A bunch of quality sport climbs have been established or at least equiped in the past 12 months by mere mortals on weekends (travelling tourists?) And more specific to Jimmy K, a shitload of world class boulders brushed and ticked by some visiting Yanks and a Fin. Here's just a short list of whats been established in the past 4 months or so...

Massive Dynamic, V14

Occam’s Razor, V14

Right Thurr, V14

Cherry Picking, V13

Rootarded, V13

Rule Number 1, V13

Boredom, V13

Losing Grip, V12

Slippery Slope, V12

Instakill, V11

Tunnel Vision, V11

Happy Ending, V11

+ MANY other problems 

Shaaaaaaiiiiittttttttt. Thats a lot of World Class Problems. Come on Jimmy - you have more ability than Salad Fingers has well, creepy fingers, these are all arguably within his limit. However its taken some tourists to invest their time and effort exploring and developing. Then giving everyone a topo. It's understandable that they then were only able to do the Wheel with knee pads and the original exit.



'Creepy as Fuck' you rusty spoon fiddler!

Normally I'd have a paper mache Douche sprayed gold to present however I feel its more pertinent to award Jimmy K with a Compass in the hope that he mans up like Bear Grylls and does some bad arse shit.

Don't Get Lost

Jimmy K vs Wild - Exclusive to ONE HD

Anyway I'm bored of this shit....and not just the blog. This problem is a boulder. No rope with the ground only inches away from your arse equates to a boulder in my book. If the ground was further away one of my boys would have bolted the shit out of it........well actually maybe it will go on gear. Imagine that.....the wheel led gear in hand. Now that would have to be the Old Skool Wheel RePrise or some shit like that. Bottom line the problem is hard, fucking hard, and ANYONE who does it deserves a huge pat on the back, however development is the key to pushing the sport/lifestyle/excuse and those with the talent are perhaps obligated to do it.

BARRY OUT!

August Rant

Yet again it has been awhile. I think I'd actually given up on this whole blogging thing. It seems so passe. Every beatnik with an arts degree is writing one. Some are interesting some are merely cyberspace junk, floating around social media sites like disused Russian bedpans from Mir.

It's not like I didn't have things to write about, I just figured no one gave enough crap to read it. Like a tree falling on a deaf mans house......did it really fall if no one heard it? I guess so because it squashed his house. I was never any good with these analogies or Confucianisms. What I'm trying to say is, if I wrote something that no one read is it worth writing. Probably not. That said, a few people of late have asked about the Captains. Expressions of dismay when loading our site and being welcomed by news from 12 months ago were not uncommon. We have been slack and boring I agree. So without further ado I am going to take us back to our roots with the only thing blogs are good for. Rants about things no one cares about.

NOWRA Sportclimbing Guidebook by Rod Young.

Holy shit this thing is a piece of crap. When this "guide" was published last year it came out to a lot of criticism. Most of this rice slinging was on Cockstone.org so I didn't take any notice because what do beard strokers know about Nowra right? Well this winter saw me escape the cold of Natimuk, in a maneuver commentators have likened to Snake's escape from LA. I headed north to the home of the mud-and-smut climbing of Nowra. I needed a guidebook, so I bought the new one. I was excited. I walked all the way home (2 mins) before opening it, planning on sitting down next to the fire opening a beer and getting my psyche on. I was bitterly disappointed. Immediately I regretted spending $45.00 on this "guide". Maybe I have been overly privileged with guidebook awesomeness from Open Spaces (Araps, Gramps Selected), Dave and Chris's bouldering and recently the Rocklands Guide complete with GPS locations. Maybe so, however these guidebooks are great to look at, entertaining, get you psyched and scream applied effort from authors. I personally saw the effort Davey P put in, spending countless months walking around the Grampians, grading, photographing (yep with artificial lighting when required - effort) and ultimately compiling. All this through winter mostly on his own with at times no money for fuel to get back to civilisation. This is what makes a good book. In stark contrast this new Nowra guide fills my nostrils with an aroma I'd imagine MS paint would smell like when it dries. Rather fitting as that' is pretty much the extent of technology used to create maps and mark out routes on shitty photo topos. I guess it's a step up from photocopying a photo and marking routes out with a white out pen. Just. As for the maps......holy Moses riding a camel. Even though a kid learning to finger paint at Yoralla has drawn them, at the very least North could have pointed to the top of the page - like all other maps!



Map of Nowra from Guidebook

So a guidebook is designed to give visiting climbers information about the general area, the crags within it and the routes that are there. Basic stuff like, Name and Grade, start and finish points and if lucky some history i.e. FA name and date. Basic Stuff. However Mr. Young has decided, perhaps because he is getting old or something, to alter the names of the routes in attempt to either change reality or history. Either way its lame. From all accounts climbing back in the day was a rebellious entity. Attracting personalities that were at the fringe of society. This is how I like to see it anyway. And Nowra was the shit hole south of Sydney where these punks went to glue up, chip and crank hard. For me, getting to name a route or problem is just as important as getting the first ascent. Yep you might be first, but you might also be the only one to try it. So the name is what really matters. It can express political, sexual, musical, theological, relationship or any other ideas that you have at a given time. A collection of words that can allow you to reminisce a time just by hearing their combination. So for someone compiling a list of said names, to go and change them because he is offended by them is akin to changing the lyrics to a song, or censoring a movie, or taking tits out of porn. 'Sperm Bitches' while a largely successful porno in its own right is also the name of a classic bouldery testpiece at South Central first climbed and named by Paul Westwood in '95. For me the name conjures up images of the lads listening to The Sexpistols and running amuck. Hitting up the pubs and picking up some scraggy Nowra lasses in an attempt to navigate the perilous seas of disease. If this is totally off the mark, I could not care as it is a more inticing image than the one conjured when reading the new family friendly name 'Spam Beaches'. WTF?! What the hell is Spam got to do with a Beach. Tinned spice ham doesn't belong anywhere bikini clad chicks. Ruined Image. Shame R. Young, Shame.



Stop the alteration of HISTORY!!

Nowra Girl in Action

So Nowra crags in places don't have obvious lines and it often seems that you follow the bolts as much as the features. For this reason, a guide should make clear where these lines go. A hand drawn topo with bolts and anchors clearly mark is a cheap, clear and easy to follow option. This Nowra guide has some of these little beauties, but predomintly it is filled with photos from wierd angles (I realise nowra is difficult to photograph hence hand drawn are sometime better) with MS paint lines marking the routes. In some cases the lines are not drawn on the correct part of the rock, or the photos don't show the anchor. Most of time this is not an issue, however if a route had a previous anchor and now extended and the grade of the climb corresponds to the extention and reasonable guide would in the route description make note of this. This Nowra guide fails in this area. I fell for it. Thought I'd done a route. Climbed it to the double bolt anchor level with the ones on either side. The photo topo not only showed the line in the wrong spot and didn't show the anchor. It also failed to mention that the route was extended past this original one and therefore was graded accordingly. The crux I found out two weeks later was in fact this extention. You can blame people (me in this case) for not seeing the bolts over the bulge, but I feel that for visitors who don't have first hand knowledge of such things, a guide should come into its own under these circumstances. This one does not.



Wheres the anchor?

So That all said. Here are the pros and cons of this guide book.

Cons.

1. Looks Shit
2. Expensive
3. History has been altered with the changing of names
4. Maps are retarded
5. Topos are in some cases worse than a sqeeze of lemon in the eye.
6. Large Font means more paper. Yep more trees plus its heavy for amount of info you get.

Pros.

1. Has a Photo of Philby in it on Brother in a Body Bag, 28 - Go Phil!




One Final note




- Grosey

A poke in the eye, a kick in the shins.

To say that success in sport has a lot to do with ones mental state is, well, and understatement. For years we've heard all the sporting cliches from a range of athletes. Footy players, '...oh, you know, right now I'm just out on the paddock, having fun playing footy again' after racking up 40+ touches in a best on field appearance; cricket players, 'I'm just concentrating on putting bat to ball...' in a match winning innings post media scandal; or as The Legend Ricky Bobby once put it so eloquently.... "I wanna go FAST!"

The point being, that when our minds wander to places of negativity, frustration or self criticism, many times this mental pressure gets the better of our physical selves. Likewise, an attitude at the opposite side of the spectrum, one of fun, joy, confidence and giddy school-boy eagerness can bring about physical excellence not expected. Like the well regurgitated remarks of the aforementioned footy or cricket player, a change in mental tact in periods of disappointing performance leads to a glorious return to match winning form. Parades are held, confetti rains from the sky, you're given the key to the city and perhaps kiss a baby....

This isn't breaking news folks. You know this. I know you know this. You know I know you know this. Know how I know? Ever said a word so often it looses all meaning?.......

Back the to point of this whole thing. After riding a high upon sending Groovy a while back, I became bogged down again. I fell off the last move on Wagalak. I then locked myself away to study for a couple of weeks during mid semester exams. I forced myself to get out of the house a few times during this academic period and trained. Now I'm not the most motivated climber when it comes to training. Unless socialising or drinking beer is considered training...... I find training uninteresting. But Joshy's infectious penchant for systematic training began to wear off on me, and I found myself repeatedly down at Burnley running laps and generally making myself feel like I was going to puke. I was actually enjoying it!?

Armed with some new found confidence and a wee bit of strength improvement, I busted back out to Nati over the weekend where I met up with Chris and Alyssa for a day in Yesterday Gully. Now, maybe fatigue from a long day at uni and a long train ride to Horsham the day before had something to do with it, but to be honest it was more likely my incompetence at doing battle with slick Arapiles cracks. I got worked that day. Man did I get worked! Alyssa was hiking Yesterday like it was 16! She made it look effortless. I made it look like possum road kill. No elegance. No panache. No golf clap performance. I'm pretty sure I resembled a fat person on roller blades, the way I was huffing and skating about as I thrashed my way up it without success.

Confidence = Shot.

A spur of the moment decision the next day saw a small posse of us tramping around southern Grampians in search of boulders. Oh yes, the good old boulders. Finally the weather had cooled enough for some bouldering action. Brendan, Chris' brother, who also live in Nati, has been putting up new problems in the area for years and years. Yonks, you could say. It was just what I needed. Some success pulling some moves again. Gettin' to the top of something. Like "havin' fun kick'n the footy 'round" We did a couple of Brendans problems and put up some new ones. A day of no expectations. No pressure to perform. Just climbing with mates.

So in the space of 48hours I'd done a complete 180 turn in psyche. I was pumped now to get back on Overtaker!

But oh no folks, the story doesn't end here. Not by a long shot. There's still another twist in this rambling fairytale.....

Fucking Arapiles cracks!!!

I got worked. Again. On the warmup. A crack. A SHORT crack. Fuck. It was in the sun, I was sweaty, shakey and hotty. But I got up it. Oh dear. Chris to the rescue!

"Don't worry buddy, its fine. I remember getting a little worried on it too". "They're tricky little numbers these slippery cracks". "You climbed fine mate! Didn't look shakey at all!". God bless Chris and his constant injections of positive laser energy. He even mentioned that we don't have to climb today, and he'd but just as happy to watch a DVD today. I almost took him up on that.

Ok I'm sure you're getting bored now, but the point is very close. Stick with us here. If you're at work reading this, coffee break is coming up real soon, I promise :)

It's hard to disappoint Chris. So I just rapped down to route to 'have a squiz at it'. "If it felt all right, I might have a crack, while I'm here" I thought. This was day 4 trying the route since before Christmas. But I was so close to doing it last time. I didn't want to go backwards. No-one wants to go backwards. Do you know why the emu and kangaroo are on our coat of arms, besides being native animals? Neither can walk backwards.

Be like the coat of arms Alister. 

Forwards progress.

I remember rapping over the edge feeling like crap. Tired and sore. By the time I got off the rope I was grinning from ear to ear, anxiously rehashing the beta. Conditions were P-E-R-F-E-C-T! Even though it was a warmish day, the wall was in the shade. The rock was cold and bone dry. Perfect. Its funny how this one little factor completely outside of my control flipped my mindset from depressed to excited. Chris noted that he could see, as soon as I started chalking the holds and ticking up footers, I was a changed man.

I ended up doing the route. I fell 3 times on the last move of the crux before finally getting it though. Still, waves of doubt and anxiety would flood my head. Every time I would have a little sook. In the end, physically, I did the route quiet easily. But it was my mental game that continued to threaten success on the day. I'm not one for the whole visualise success thing. Or mental training for climbing. But its pretty obvious that mental controls physical, emotion controls muscle. And for each person, dealing with this up and down wave will be different. Being aware of it though is half the battle won.

I rode the wild emotional roller coaster that weekend, peaking, and plummeting.

I can't wait to do it again.

-TheBigAl

Photos

Josh has leant me his old digital camera. The last shots I took on his new camera were a little "off" shall we say. I'm not allowed nice things anymore....Its a 20D. Fixed 50mm lens. Goes down to 1.8 aperature. Thats technical stuff. Yep, I'm totally pro now. These are the results of the first time using it.

Alyssa on Yesterday

Gordy trying his link-up project in Yesterday Gully

Chris on a new problem of mine

Brendan vying for the FA of this spicy number

Chris won in the end....

Philby walks the Yin

Breaking news........

This Morning approx 1 hour ago, Philby 'little hands' Neville has within a week of his 30th birthday, crushed Path of Yin - 30, at arguably the best crag in the southern hemisphere, certainly in the Grampians, Muline.

This is Phil's first 30 and what a route to debut with. Bouldery fridge to get off the ground, steep sluggy roof reminiscent of french baguettes stuck to a ceiling and a 'Heartbreak High' style finish - sometimes hard to watch.

Although I don't believe ticking a 30 before the age of 30 was a true motivator, I had heard Phil mention it before. I guess with week to go the pressure was on - diamonds need a lot of pressure to be formed right? A midweek ANZAC Day special was in order and I only wish I had braved the inclement weather and driven up there for some photos. Alas, a google search has offered up some of its finest "Path of Yin" shots.

Path of Yin under redlights

Path of 2 fat Twins

Path of Yin Steepness. Blue represents the rope - including lower off

Computer generated image of Phil on his 31st Birthday

As we can see, Phil is aging rather rapidly. Lets all hope that he can continue to climb harder than his age, and even as I predict, get in front. Cause thats the secret to the fountain of youth right, climbing hard??

- Grosey

Easter Wrap Up

Ah yes, Easter. That good old Christian holiday. Some use it celebrate the resurrection of Christ. Others just get horribly drunk for 4 days. Some of us though, go climbing.

Easter is that time of year on the climbing calendar that sees the hordes appear. Baddie traddie types, group abseilers, boulderers, dirtbaggers, slackliners(!?), families, mates, kiddies, the lot.

For Arapiles especially, it's a pretty chaotic time. Fortunately for me, I am still semi located in Natimuk. No crowded campsites. No clanging of hexes in the morning. Bliss!

This Easter I got to team up with some old partners in crime, Scotty Clarke and Chris Trapnell, along with Joshy and Ash. Along with dropin's by Arnie, Scoots, Timmy Le, Papa Al and The Crowe sisters, (the last few you may not know but are pretty tops in my book!)

Scotty Clarke!

Klop at home with the crew

Climbing wise its was a pretty good trip. Joshy knocked off a couple of sweet 29's (Wagalak and Jetlag) and Trappers and Ash smashed out Have A Good Flight (25) in impressive fashion. Ash took it down on her second day as a warmup, and Trappers clipped the chains 5 minutes before he took off to pack up camp and drive 4 hours back to Melbourne, to catch a flight to Brisbane that evening.

Scotty and I spent a few days on Wagalak. I came within a hold of sending that puppy but tore a hole in my finger.....over rover. Scotty was not far behind either.

Trappers on Spasm in a Chasm (25)

Me about to rip a hole in my pinkie on Wagalak. 

And here it is....

Bigger news though was Easter = GOATFEST!

Chapel Street South Melbourne or Main Street Natimuk?

Goatfest is the annual Natimuk film festival, and this was the first one I got to attend. It was a bit cool too going as a 'local'. With a packed out crowd in the Memorial Hall, curry slops, and a cold beer, we settled in for a night of entertainment. Plenty of great videos, from locals to internationals. Even old mate S. Weill had a video.....

Simons Video

First up it goes without saying that the Nati crew who organises this every year do a fantastic job. I wont start rattling off names because its a huge team effort and on a whole they should be thanked and recognised.

Secondly, I suupose a congratulations is order for Simon, who managed to take out both the Viewers and Judges choice awards. Both bloody awards! As if he didn't need something else to hold over the rest of us! But his video was definitely a crowd favourite, and had a different flavour, lets say, to the rest of the videos. So big up to Simon!

The winner and Scootsy enjoying la cafe

Just faking interest in Simons gloating.

But it is getting exciting at the moment! Josh is about 3 weeks away from his move out west to start a 2 month stint as a country paramedic and I'm plugging away trying to work out how I can re-work uni to allow me more time in Nati. I've been locked down the last 10 days knocking off reports, assignment, and mid semester exams. Josh and I have had a couple of epic training sessions, which for reasons I am yet unsure of, has spurred on some motivation to CONTINUE training on my part. Who'da thunk it!?

The last weeks hideout

So thats about it for the moment. I'm sitting here typing and watching the Slovenia bouldering comp. On a Saturday night. Sad I know..... But next weekend its back out to Nati, get some climbing in, maybe even bolt something :D I'll keep you posted on that one ;)

Not a bad drop....

-TheBigAl

Goings on.

OK guys its been a month since my last update, and well, that's because not a huge amount has happened other then Uni. For the first few weeks of classes I hunkered down in Melbourne getting to grips with a return to the learned life. Chemistry is the game, and even for someone like me who likes it, it can feel like quite a drain.

I've been making the trip back and forth between Nati and M-town for the last couple of weeks, luckily accompanied by fellow westie (Horsham born) Chris Abernethy for the trips most weeks. So far the travel is going well, with 3-4 days a week in Nati just keeping the raging country bumpkin inside of me at bay......just......

The weather is finally coming good, ie; getting colder. Projects are already starting to back up. I had a couple of goes on Joshs' as yet unrepeated Substance D (29) at Little Hands, turning his wild, crux dyno chuck into a three move techo-fest. Haven't been back as yet, but will soon to hopefully knock that one off. Destined to be a classic! Arnie and Matt Adams were there also, and along with Josh, the crag looked and sounded like an add for Red Chili! Josh made great progress on his Afro Warrior project, having a Real Thing flashback "That's a personal best" moment. Simon chucked a great little tanty when he fell off the crux of Steal on Steal (28), repeatedly. Matt complained he was pumped in ALL his arms. I was mad fun of because of my retarded attempt at climbing on the warm-up and the shitty rubber on my Scarpas.....just another day at the office/crag.

The next day Joshy and I headed up to the Gallery with the masses. He was keen to get back on Le Petit Mort (29) while I was just keen to get a bit pumped! Mission accomplished. I had a crack at Shadow Death (28) which is a rad link-up of Chasing the Shadow into the end of Le Petit Mort. I managed to climb to the point where Shadow breaks left and Death continues on before hitting the wall. So another route to add to the list of close ones.

I went back to a route I tried with Arnie last year called The Overtaker (29) at Araps with Abernethy, and after a couple of days he managed to smash out the send, while I came frustratingly close, falling at the end of the crux, then going to the top, before giving up with bruised tips. The list just gets longer.

Crux lock on The Overtaker. (Photo: Alysaa Bond)

End of the crux section of The Overtaker. (Photo: Alyssa Bond)

Chris and I also had a few shots each on Groovy (28) a couple of weeks back, both coming very close to funking our way up the route. Happy to say I finally got a win and knocked it off this weekend passed, as did Chris. This was a pretty special route for me because it was one I'd underlined in my guidebook for a good 10 years ago. I've spent very little time on Taipan over my life of climbing, but Groovy was always one that stuck in my mind as a must do, and it was a very pleasing moment clipping the chains on it. Although I did make things a wee bit exciting having a bit of a un-planned slip and cut loose moment looking at the anchors!

PhD student Ashlee-Trevor-Bendy-Hendy huffed her way up the classic Invisible Fist (26) that day too, while Josh just ran laps on routes like The Invisible Fist and Tyranny. 

News of others in the Melbourne climbing scene comes across the desk here at the A-Team HQ from time to time too. The silent Daddy Daytrippers crusher club of Sam Morely and Scott Clarke have been proving that having a kid is no excuse to getting weak. We hear that Sam knocked off So You Think You Can Dance (V11) and Academia (31) during day trips snuck in between fatherly duties, with partner in crime Scotty nabbing Tyranny (29) and Fabios Route (29), as well as Gripmaster (V10) in similar style. 

Nick Sutter finally put his Little Hands Cave project to rest producing Strontium Dogs (31).

And as you saw below, Philby smashed out Koala (29) under the noses of the rest of us. Sneaky pal!

So what else has been happening???? Ive been back out at the lake fishing over the weekend, but to no avail. Although I think I would hesitate at eating any trout of the lake, considering the sea of algae still present! Gareth is back from WA and now a full time, unemployed climber. Great to have someone else around to talk to now.

I'm back in Melbourne for a few days of school then back out west way Wednesday night. Picking up Scoots from the airport and delivering him to Arnies Acres in Moyston. 

Easter is upon us, and so is a couple of very hot days from the looks of the weather report. So once they pass (with study being the most likely alternative to climbing) its back out there with everyone enjoying the best climbing west of Horsham!!

More to report after easter!

Having a crack at The Eye of the Tiger, 4 days after an epic 5 day music festival.
Not very wise.....

An evening of fishing at Nati Lake with Mars and Brendan.

-TheBigAl

Koala (29), Gallery, Grampians

A little video of me sending Koala thanks to Flash. Red duck on belay.

Autumn is on the way

Hey Gang,

Well as you've read in Al's post, it has been crazy hot down here. For us city dwellers climbing has been limited. After having most of January off (see Tasmania post) it has been difficult being back at work and only getting the occasional weekend off. Although those few and far between days are basically sweatbox, sauna torture, they have been great fun.

I can finally report on some news I've had since Christmas, although many of you may already know. I have recently joined the Expedition Equipment Team, representing Red Chili, Wild Country and Prana. I'm very excited about this opportunity. If you're on facebook, you probably have already seen the link to their page I sent you. Jump on it, cause you can read news, reports and stay in touch with new gear thats coming in. Otherwise it's here, www.expeditonequipment.com.au

Not much to report in terms of tickage, but I've jumped on a few things of late I've been eyeing off.

Firstly, I jumped on Le Petite Mort, 29ish at the Gallery. Is 'ish' now as an undercling that was used for clipping and initiating the crux sequence was rudely busted off by Hank the Yank some years ago. I worked out a new way of entering the crux, however was thwarted by the tropical conditions and blew a fuse. Sutter is the only one I know who's done it since the hold broke, and agrees it adds some curry.

Secondly, I have worked out all the moves on a project of mine dubbed Afro Warrior at Little Hands. This is a rising traverse that enters the crux of my Substance D, 29 but from the wrong side. Basically a 4 move V6? at the end of a 18m roof traverse. Quick, call an Ambulance cause this thing will be fully sick!

Spent another couple of hot days at Muline with Arnie and some other locals. I didn't do much climbing there because the routes I want to try are in the sun most of the day at this time of year. I did however lug my new camera kit up and did a test shoot of Arnie on Middle Path, 28. This was aimed at getting to know my new kit (7D and Tokina 11-16mm f2.8). This rough cut diamond is just that 'rough' and for good reason. I'll prepared and out of time, shooting it in the 30 mins we should have been already on the road back to Melbourne. Hopefully its the start of more to come, video that is. Lots of ideas - just have to learn how to edit and make things nicer.



Oh, almost forgot. The annual Bayside Boulder Bash was on last weekend. Good to have some new fully rad (long and pumpy) problems in the gym. I had a shitter and without devulging to much information, what happened was a long time coming and my awareness of it now as prompted me to seek professional help. This, while in some ways very difficult for me can only be a good and positive thing for my climbing. That said, there were some really strong performances. The little man from Sheffield, Tom Haigh took out the win with some really impressive flashes. Well done mate.

Anyway, I'm heading up this weekend for a couple days with the intention of filming some routes at Little Hands and of course having a crack at Afro Warrior (watch this space). \

Righteo. Enjoy the weekend peeps

- Grosey.

A Wimmera Summer.

According to the calendar, summer is nearing its final days. Farmers have completed their harvest, and the place now looks and feels like a barren dustbowl. Sweltering hot evenings of unescapable heat. The shrill of cicadas become just more background noise at night. With still a couple of weeks of warm whether to come, there is a hope that the worst of a hot summer in Victoria’s wheat belt is just a memory. (note, this inspired piece of introductory poetry was written while at work on a 38 degree summer day)

Climbing during summer out here is a game of luck. Some days are so hot that the oppressive strangle hold of the sun is all foreboding and unrelenting. Others can remind you of a perfect winters day. Blue sky, gentle breeze, and a pleasant 21^oC ambient temperature.  I’ve never been a fan of the heat. Especially climbing in the heat. The cooling attraction of the gullies, and walls hiding in the shadows however, have reinspired my faith in summer climbing. I do feel very fortunate to be able to take full advantage of summer evenings out here. After work climbing on some of the best rock and routes in the country, in the cool of the shade, on a mild summer evening, does have certain charm about it. Where climbing becomes lifestyle rather than ‘just that thing I do on the weekends’. Or maybe it becomes ‘just that thing I do after work, but before dinner’. 

On the cooler evenings, I was able to get and out climb some great routes like Unrequited, 27, Ciela, 28, and Power, Corruption and Lies, 27. I even got a run up the brilliant Skink, 18, for the first time, in the middle of a string of low 20's days. Plus a slew of other routes done all over the place with different folks.

Chris sending Unrequited on a Wednesday evening.

Chris on Ciela, Thursday afternoon.

Chilly evening afterwork climb with the boys.

Josh in Ethopia

Living out here has changed my perspective on where climbing sits in my life too. I now see a way of making the thing I love doing so much, a part of my life, without it becoming overpowering, overburdening or oversaturated.

Too hot to climb? Never mind. Wake-boarding on Green Lake with Taipan in the background.

But as goes with life, circumstances continue to evolve. As Robert Burns so eloquently put it,

"the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray"

University started up again this week, and my proposed idea of living in Nati while studying by correspondence has not come into fruition. I came out here to try and work and climb. Mission accomplished. But I came out here because I could work and climb. I got to work in a field that is where I wish to end up in after my studies. And in order to get back here in the future, full time, I need to make sure I’m fulfilling my desire to learn and educate myself as well as I can. After all, I climb because I love it, and I’m at school because I love it.

To study by correspondence for what I want to learn, would not provide me with the feeling of accomplishment. Of having got all I could from my education.

So, with summer ending, and the days getting shorter, I’ll be returning to Melbourne. For the first semester I will still be based in Nati, catching the train back and forth for 3 days in the city every week. Climbing and school occurring in harmony. Well, hopefully. Come second semester, there is a good chance I’ll be back in Melbourne until I finish the degree, with perhaps another Wimmera summer squeezed in there.

Sunset from Claires farm in Pomonal. 

-TheBigAl

Tasmania Waters

First trip of 2012.

It had been 3 years since I was last in Australia's bastard state, 3 years too long really. Both this time round and the last were both under a very similar premise. That was; as a way to get motivated to come back from injury. Both times however I have found it difficult to climb there. Probably more to do with my lack of technique than actually being fresh off the reserve's bench.

I flew down with Ash Hendy and promptly made our way to Freycinet National Park, planning on climbing at The Star Factory. A slightly overhanging orange granite wall, positioned above postcard bay. What a venue. After some awesome weather on day 1 we ended up having to bail early due to a Northerly blowing salt water all over the cliff. Amazing to witness the process of cloud formation right in front of us, but disappointing we walked an hour in only to find the rock saturated.

I had heard of an area down south near Port Arthur that could be good this time of year, if the swells weren't too high. This was confirmed by (Simon) Young Gun via text. So off we shot, hitting the Mt Brown walking track the next morning. The Paradiso was our objective, with promised overhanging dolorite right on the Tasman Sea. The climbing here was fun, sort of juggy sidepull action, and somewhat pumpy. Some of the routes up the middle were about 30m long.

We decided to climb 3 days on due to a shitty forecast, yet this proved to be more like half days due to getting to the crag around 3pm. We managed to get up a few routes all the same.

Highlights;

Ash - Retrograde Amnesia, 26
Me - Captain Jack, 29/30 (whatever that means - I'll take 29)

Andy Richardson put up Captain Jack in 2010. It is super cool but very atypitcal for the crag with sharp crimps and a flat blocked boulder crux. I'm stoked to do it as it was completly wet and subsequently chalk (beta) free when we arrived. It took me 2 attempts to figure out how to clip the 3rd draw without killing Ash or hitting the ground - basically just had to hold the sharpest hold a bit longer. Then a further attempt to figure out the crazy roof. I tried everything to avoid the kneebar but alas I succumbed, like an Ol' Seadog to the Siren's song. Eh, anyway it went next shot.

Wrap up - Awesome week away, yet it wasn't long enough. Next time will be for a month, with a rack next time.

Psyched to get to the Gramps though!!

-Grosey

Here's a short iPhone/shoe video of Capt. Jack.

Ash @ Bluestone Bay - Day 1

Sleepy Bay - View from SF Approach

The Paradiso, Mt Brown Area

Me getting a little close

Fat thing with stool up her arse.

Bring On 2012

Well its that time of the year again when people start jogging around the block, give up the booze, try to eat better or give up smoking. It is the time of new beginnings and turning the other cheek. Or is it another leaf?? You know I'm terrible with that sort of thing. We all know people who perform this almost religious ritual every year, however how many resolutions actually are maintained? Probably not many.

Another annual event that that usually ends in disappointment for most is NYE celebrations. Hype and expectation inevitably ends in early nights at home, ridiculous crowds of intoxicated heroes, or some lame house party hosted by a friend 4 times removed. For this reason Al and I decided to put on a NYE bash at Mt Arapiles. It had been 3 years since our last and about time we hit it up again. We had some expectations and we definitely had the hype (Horsham checkout chicks were talking it up), yet where others failed we totally kicked arse. As you are probably aware, we like to dress up. Not always in dresses mind you. We needed a theme. Something that would inspire some shocking outfits while promoting an inclusive feel to the party. 1980's - the decade with probably the best 'Shit to Hit' ratio regarding music and fashion became the theme. With some help from the crew, the shelter was turned into a retro 80's night club, complete with decor, lights and visual projections including Monkey Magic and Jim Henson's the Storyteller. Awesome. As a surprise Al and I decided to have a best dressed trophy awarded - it was put to the vote, and our very own Philby came away with a win. To an adoring crowd, Phil managed to do a knee slide down the concrete ramp and then do a strip show. Nice one mate, pity about your grazed up old man knees the next day.

So after a bloody awesome night of some retro hip hop, alternative and electro we welcomed 2o12 with sunrise in the wheat fields - no better way I tell you. Hell followed as we had to endure a 42 degree day in the Wimmera. Most of it was spent lying about at Al's place in Nati, then the afternoon cooling off at Horsham pool with the crew. All in all, a wicked night.

Phil, Alicia, Ash, Al and myself pre NYE. Photos - Nina Ginsberg

First sunrise of 2012

Being on leave and about 4.5 months post injury (A4 rupture) I took the opportunity to hang about for a week with Al at his new abode in Natimuk. A great week it was, living the cruisey country lifestyle. Although it was stinking hot we got some climbing, bmx riding and fishing in. Highlight was catching a rainbow trout by the tail haha gold - tasted great!!! I also spent a few days teaching Jasmin the ropes, as she'd never climbed outdoors before. It was a good way to get back into climbing, by doing some enjoyable easier routes that I had done perhaps 9 years ago. On our last day of the trip, Jaz and I meandered up the 5 pitches of The Bard grade 12. Later that afternoon Al came out and belayed me on Break and Enter on the back of Uncle Charlies. A cool fridge slapping problem, perfect for a hot summer's day. Topping out on this route was a great finish to wicked day and an awesome week. According to Al and Phil it also means I'm officially back off the bench, and an encouraging return at that.

Jasmin on The Bard traverse

Psyched for the warm-up, Spasm in a Chasm 25

As for New Year resolutions, I'm not a believer however this year I am looking forward to several things. Climbing well and injury free, roadtrips locally and abroad but I mostly look forward to hanging out with great mates and enjoying the little things in life. Happy new year everyone and crank hard.

- Grosey